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Monday,
5/7/07 - 12:17 pm
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DarkMsy: omgReitahasanose
bishigurl01: NO WAI.
DarkMsy: someone posted a clip on jrockyaoi, where about 30 seconds in, you can see him without the thing on his face
DarkMsy: I mean, obviously he has a nose, but... oh you know what I mean XD
bishigurl01: lol
bishigurl01: Is it an ugleh nose, is that why he covers it up all the time?
bishigurl01: lol
DarkMsy: nope. just...a nose *shrug* nothing unusual about it, from what I saw
DarkMsy: though, it was just a brief shot. like two seconds
bishigurl01: *sigh* the mystery of the nosediaper will nevar be solved.
DarkMsy: lol
DarkMsy: maybe he has allergies so he keeps a hanky on his nose at all times? XD
bishigurl01: lol
bishigurl01: It really would be a nosediaper then.
DarkMsy: ew XD
bishigurl01: lol
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Wednesday,
4/25/07 - 2:58 pm
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Called eleven places today and got one interview. but whatever. if I get that job and maybe the overnight at CVS, that means I can quit the Carver, which makes me happy. Mel and Joe wanted me to keep the Carver job too and just work like one day a week or whatever, but to hell with that. If I'm gonna be working three jobs, it's gonna be three I can rely on, no more of this "sorry, it's slow this week, so you have no hours" bullshit.
Two jobs, though. That's the goal. A full-time one would be sweet, but I'd probably still try to find another. Though I'd need to find time to get my permit and learn how to drive and stuff...
ugh. I have way too much to thin about. x.x
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| Just so you know, this entry wasn't intended to be quite so emo... |
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Saturday,
4/21/07 - 3:19 pm
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I fall asleep in Kyo's arms every night.
I close my eyes and think back to that hug at Family Values. I remember his warmth. I remember his strong arms, his soft skin... his divine scent...
I imagine him hugging me again. Except this time I'm not in line at FV. We don't shake hands and from there tug each other into a hug.
No...
I close my eyes and picture those warm, strong arms around me as we're laying in bed. I can almost feel those long, soft fingers running through my hair.
A soft kiss to the top of my head... soft singing... sometimes, a whispered endearment or two...
I never remember falling asleep. My daydream and actual dreams tend to blend together. But, seemingly only seconds later, I open my eyes and it's morning.
It's morning, and though I feel more rested and refreshed than I have in a long time, I'm so depressed that I keep getting slower at everything...
...because I get lonelier every day.
I've started to open up more at work, not because I'm more comfortable with the people I work with, but because I need to feel less...isolated.
I talk to Stephanie and Nicole and Sarah on aim, but I never see anyone. I never hear my dear friends' voices.
I try to pretend to be my usual perky, stupid self, but... I'm so lonely.
So alone.
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| Stolen from Sarah-babe |
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Friday,
4/13/07 - 12:08 pm
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because the idea of someone envying anything about me is bloody hilarious XD
We all have things about our friends that make us slightly envious. Not in a bad way, but in a 'Wow! I wish I had that person's hair/eyes/money/relationship/toenails/whatever.
So tell me what about me makes you envy me... then post this in your LJ and see what makes me envious of you.
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Thursday,
4/12/07 - 2:03 pm
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Joe has today off. He's not home right now, but he could be home any minute. I don't like being online when he's home, because I know it makes him mad, so I'm making myself scarce today. Talk to you guys tomorrow. ^-^ <3 you!
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Wednesday,
4/11/07 - 4:51 pm
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So I played Bin's "Love Somebody" for Alex and Tori a few minutes ago. They both loved it, which made me happy. ^-^ I'm so sick of Bin antis, it's nice that I get to create fans. XD
Of course, these are the same girls who love Dir en grey, Sadie, Miyavi (well, Tori does), Super Junior T, Yamapi, Kame, Skid Row, and Nirvana too. For kids, they have awesome taste in music. <33
I know one person off the top of my head is going to be pissed about this entry if she reads it, but I'm beyond caring. It's my opinion. Get over it.
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| K-chan's a happy camper ^-^ |
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Wednesday,
4/11/07 - 1:15 pm
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So I just found out Skid Row performed in Japan in '92. I was looking for the Youth Gone Wild vid and found part of the concert at Budokan. I just stared at it for the longest time, thinking it was a typo XD then I clicked it and Sebastian was like "Hey Japan!" and I was like "O.O *jaw drops* omg they were really there..."
I'm not sure why I was so surprised XD but it was a pleasant surprise, at least. It made me uberhappy to see one of my favorite 80's bands in my favorite country. I can't stop smiling now lol
[EDIT] ...ok, it makes me happy that he attempted to speak Japanese, but...eek. XD gotta work on your pronounciation, Sebastian dear...
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| I feel a little bit better |
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Monday,
4/9/07 - 1:04 pm
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I cried myself to sleep yesterday. The positive side of that is I got lots of sleep and woke up early today. XD Had a crazy dream (even crazier than the Diru dream I posted about a few entries back) that depressed me even more for a while, but I'm over it. It was just a dream.
I'm sorry about that post about my friends. Stephanie's right, it was rediculous. So I deleted it.
I'm really sorry for everything I said yesterday. I know you were just trying to help, but, like I often do, you went about it the wrong way.
And I'm especially sorry that I made my beautiful Niki cry. I never wanted that. More than knowing I was being an ashole, more than knowing I'll never have a future in music... knowing I made my most precious person cry hurts the most.
I'm so sorry, guys. I really am.
I love you.
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| It's over |
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Sunday,
4/8/07 - 5:26 pm
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I quit. Even thinking that has made my heart shatter into a million tiny pieces, and I know they'll never come back together, but... it's time for me to take my own advice and grow up.
I'll never have a real band. I'll never be able to sing or play anything. It's time to face reality. I'm completely worthless.
A "band" where no one can play anything? What a fucking joke. Maybe that was fine back in elementary school, but we're all adults now. We're out of time. We won't even be able to practice together (practice what? no one can fucking play anything) until we're in our twenties. What's the point?
If you guys can find a way to make it work, all the more power to you, but I'm done. I quit. I can't do this anymore.
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Saturday,
4/7/07 - 9:58 pm
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Is it odd that the fact that I'm right in this case bothers me? I feel super bad that I lectured her and then blocked her, especially after she was nice enough to make me that graphic for my lj layout, and she cheered me up after my first lecture...
I'm sorry, Stephanie, I really am. But I'm not wrong. Maybe my approach was wrong, but... If you really do want to be a musician, regardless of whether you want to be with us or not, you need a full-time job, or two part-time jobs. You need money to do anything.
Also, just like I used to say to Nicole and Ashley, if you're not ready to leave when I am, I will not wait for you. I will help you if I can, because you're a dear friend and I don't want to lose you, but you really need to learn to stand on your own two feet and be independent. If you put serious effort into getting a job and practicing whatever the hell you want to do and saving whatever you can, I'll help you. But I'm not your mother, and I have my own shit to worry about. Right now, I make you look rich. So you need to be an adult.
I'm sorry I lectured you, and I'm sorry that you feel as though everyone's trying to run your life, but if you want that to stop, you have to make it stop. Stop whining and being lazy, and just show everyone what you can do when you set your mind to it.
Or be a child forever and go no where. It's your choice. But if you choose to remain immature, I'd just like to warn you of one thing: my mother took that path, and now my entire family hates her for it. Please think about that.
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Friday,
4/6/07 - 10:53 am
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got a new sn on aim. if I want you to know it, I'll tell you, it's that simple. Don't ask me. This is easier than going invisible or making up excuses to avoid people I don't wanna talk to. After today, I most likely won't ever use DarkMsy again.
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Wednesday,
4/4/07 - 11:25 pm
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Kyo smells like boy.
Like very very sexy boy.
This popped into my head earlier when I mentioned the hug at FV to Alex, and for some reason, she asked me if he wore deoderant. *shakes head* I worry about her sometimes. Anyway, I looked at her like she was insane, so she was like "it was after the concert, right? and he moves a lot. boys sweat a lot when they move, and sweat stinks. was he stinky?" (there was some input from me in there. XD random "yeah"s and "uh...what?"s lol but I'm too lazy to write the whole conversation word-for-word)
I started laughing so hard it took me forever to answer her. XD but I was like "no, he wasn't stinky! He smelled really good! actually, he smelled heavenly." she asked me what he smelled like, so I said the first thing that popped into my head: "he smelled like boy. and the sexiest cologne ever." so then she was like "did he smell all girly and perfume-y?" and I was like "no! he smelled like a boy!"
...I eventually gave up on trying to covey the heavenly scent of a sexy man to a six-year-old and just said "you'll understand when you're older." and left it at that XD it pisses her off every time I say that, but it's true.
That kid and her crazy random questions *shakes head*
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| This kid is so fucking cool... |
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Wednesday,
4/4/07 - 8:43 pm
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So, Alex has declared that Dir en grey is her "favoritest band EVER". XD She also has me singing her to sleep with ain't afraid to die, and she learned a lot of the lyrics of Jessica after watching the PV once. Earlier she was singing Garden and like halfway through, randomly switched to Jessica, then asked me what she was singing cuz she couldn't remember the name of either of them. ^^;
Oh, and she loves Taiyou no Ao, Machiavellism, Merciless Cult (she thinks the fish-hooking is funny ^^;;), and The Final. She hates Mask with a passion, which makes me sad, but I'm sure she'll come around XD
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Tuesday,
4/3/07 - 1:25 pm
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Man I had some crazy fucking dreams about Diru last night. I so shouldn't be allowed to fall asleep listening to them. XD It almost felt like The Wizard of Oz. lol. "You were there, and you, and you..."
Sarah, Niki, Steph, Kevin, Alex... even Liz was in it a little bit, as well as some of the people we met at Inward Scream. XD But it was mostly me and my girls. For some reason, Kevin had to stay home (as did Alex, obviously) while the girls and I hung out with Diru for the rest of their tour. (it was set like...next year? later this year? *shrug* whenever they come back to Boston next, that's when my dream took place XD)
For the sake of the people who don't give a shit, I'm lj-cutting ( the details. )
...*shakes head* seriously, no more going to sleep listening to Diru. Dreams this unrealistic can't be healthy. XD
[EDIT] also, apologies for all the typos, but there's so many of them, I'm not even gonna bother going back to fix them. *lazy* XD
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| XD oh man, I love my brother-in-law |
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Monday,
4/2/07 - 7:48 pm
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Mel: *making some kind of cake thing* this is for work, so don't start drooling
Alex: I won't start drooling. it's only food
Mel: *laughs* oh, it's only food, huh?
Joe: yeah, it's only food.
Mel: not like it's a teenage boy
Joe: *same time* not like it's a boy. (he said a name but I don't remember it)
me: Kyo. granted, he's 31, but he's damn fine for his age.
Joe: I'm 33, and I'm hot.
me: he has a six-pack
Joe: *instantly* I have a keg. I win.
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| three posts in ten minutes (ish) ...um... yay? |
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Monday,
4/2/07 - 1:37 pm
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on a more important note, I have a question for my girls: How incredibly lame would it be to use the name of a fictional band as our name? I idly mentioned Heavenly Sin to Sayuri the other day and she said she wouldn't mind going under that name. At this point, I don't give a shit either way. I'm ready to just call the fucking thing "Gimmick" XD
So, Himitsu, Kyoko, and Pandora - it's up to you, darlings. If anyone comes up with any ideas, I'll edit this entry later with like a list or something and we can vote, okie?
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| because bitchrants make me feel better, so I must share the happy ^-^ |
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Monday,
4/2/07 - 1:28 pm
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...well, ok, maybe not happy, so much as...not pissy. XD But I'm thinking of resurrecting one of my old Meev "layouts" (if you know me at all, you know which one I'm thinking of, even though there were like...five). Obviously, this will have to wait until I can get on a computer that my harddrive will work with for a few hours. If I was just going to reuse the old layout as it was, it'd take me like 30 seconds, but I wanna make it better. I wanna mess with some tutorials and stuff, and see if I can make it more than just a picture slapped in the background and messing with the colors a bit. I wanna try and make a cool one.
I still need help though. The best "graphics" program I have to work with is frackin' paint. So I need a kind soul to make the graphic thingy (gee, I'm just so technical today XD) for me. Pweeease?
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Monday,
4/2/07 - 12:48 pm
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God I hate working sundays. x.x I almost punched a lady I work with yesterday. Crystal and I were done on time, so we were sent up to the third floor to help Debbie, because, as always, the useless cow was way behind everyone else. She had four rooms left to do when we got up there, so we did her living rooms for her, leaving her with just four practically spotless bathrooms to do. Then, we helped Tina and Martha a bit (I didn't mind, they're both really cool, and they helped me a lot during vacation week. Plus, unlike Debbie, they're not always way behind everyone else) and left.
I went to a convenience store across the street to apply for a second job, and ran into a bunch of girls I work with. One lady, Nora (<3 her. she's loud, but really cool) told me that Debbie was still up on the third floor. WTF?! What does she do all day? It's not like she was standing around waiting for us to finish doing her work for her - if she did, she'd be in huge trouble. She was cleaning the bathrooms while we were cleaning the rest of the rooms. And like I said, the bathrooms were aleady practically spotless. Five, ten minutes each. Max.
We were upstairs for around 45 minutes. Crystal was there a bit longer, cuz I had to go downstairs for a few minutes. The whole time, Debbie was cleaning, as well. Or at least, she seemed to be. And I didn't go straight to the store. I stopped to chat with some people I've become friends with, sat for a bit (after five hours of yard work the day before, and six and a half hours (9-3:30) of cleaning hotel rooms, muscles I didn't even know I had were sore XD) and took my sweet time getting over there.
I'm still "the new girl" at the hotel. it still says "training" next to my name on the schedule. I'm sick of making stupid mistakes and forcing whoever's working with me to go back (for some reason, Gail pins everything on whoever's training me, saying it's her room, and I'm just helping her, so any mistakes I make are her responsibility. I hate that. A person should take responsibility for their own mistakes, and a boss, of all people, should know that). So anyway, lately we've been switching off. We do beds together, but take turns doing either the bathroom or the living room. Since, as I said, I'm sick of making stupid mistakes, I go fucking OCD on those damn bathrooms. I end up slowing the other girl way down (or seeming to, anyway), but we still finish on time, if not early. I still mess up sometimes (I'm not perfect XD) but that's not the point...
The point is, going crazy and taking way longer than almost anyone else... I still could have finished those four bathrooms Debbie had left in the time it took Crystal and I to do her living rooms for her. The new girl can finish on time with only one person helping (and sometimes no one. Gail and Susie have both left me to do a room alone and see how I do) but this lady can't with two?
*deep breath* ok, calming down... This still wouldn't bother me much normally. It was a Sunday, Sundays are always crazy. Almost everyone stays at least a little late, either because they had a room or two that were complete disasters (poor Nora had to clean up after a birthday party that took up two rooms) or because others need help. No biggie. But with Debbie, it's different. It annoys the hell out of me, because she's like this all the time. Every time she and I are working the same day, I hear either Louanne or Susie or Gail (those are my bosses) asking someone who's finished to go help Debbie. She needs to get her act together. seriously.
Debbie, Sean... oh Sean. *rolls eyes* that's a whole new rant. I'll spare you, for now. XD They're both really nice, but they both need to wake the fuck up and start doing their jobs.
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Friday,
3/30/07 - 5:11 pm
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I think I know it! I'm so excited. ^-^ I'm not gonna say it here cuz if I'm wrong that makes me look like a moron XD and if I'm right, I'm basically betraying him because he asked that it be kept secret... but OMG I think I know his real name! *dances*
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Tuesday,
3/27/07 - 4:41 pm
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DarkMsy: hahahaha
YunHo: when this Cd first came out, we used to drive around with all the windows rolled down and blast it
DarkMsy: YunHo: ...and we used to shout "we are Dong Bang Shin Ki!"
bishigurl01: haha aw.
DarkMsy: I can see us doing that, that's why I'm laughing XD
bishigurl01: lol
DarkMsy: blasting our first CD and shouting "this is us!"
bishigurl01: yeah...that seems like something we would do.
DarkMsy: let's make it happen
bishigurl01: most definitely.
...but first, girlies, we need a band name. XD Since Niki and I are the only ones who like what PSK stands for. XD (and even I can't think about it without laughing, and I really don't want to be known by a name that makes everyone laugh and go "wtf?")
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